What! You can't have a toot or two in front of the little ones?

Nonsense!

As any self-respecting member of the much-vaunted, fussed over, and ballyhood (a word we need to use more often), Satanic Cat Society knows, it's right proper to pour heaping dollops (Yet another word we need to use more often), of the stuff into baby bottles in order to "help them settle."

Why it was done to me as a toddler, and look at me now! bulbous red nose and all.

So I call for a return to the good old days when wee babies were right sozzled, crocked, gassed, lit, inebriated, soused, and generally three sheets to the wind, like a proper diaper-wearing member of society out to be! (the baby that is, not meesterboom. Although he's been known to sport a diaper in public from time to time.) Cheers! and see you in the new year! :)