Like a death at a birthday party, You ruin all the fun.

John Cooper Clarke, “Twat”

    Alternate vid, with Lyrics – "Twat"       _{(Right-click to read on YouTube)}

“Twat” (1979, 1982)

This humorous poem first appeared in 1979, on John Cooper Clarke’s 3rd album. “Twat”  was recorded live as a spoken-word piece, probably at some punk club in the north of England.   

Cruel but Clever

The poem comprises a long, merciless string of witty but scathing insults. But with Clarke’s brilliant lyricism, clever word-play, and dynamic delivery, this cheeky poem comes across like music – to my ears, anyway.

John Cooper Clarke

John Cooper Clarke is a UK performance poet who came to fame in the late-1970s. During that time, he shared the stage with such noted bands as The Fall, Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Sex Pistols, and Elvis Costello.  

Manic Comic

He began by ranting his poetry in a staccato, a cappella delivery, and eventually started doing so with musical accompaniment.

However, with his vivid and often hilarious images, there’s not much need for music. His poetic descriptions and his manic delivery are enough to make us prick up our ears. And smile. 

Poet, Bard

Clarke has been known variously as “the people’s poet,”   a “punk poet,”  a “comic,”  and “the bard from Salford.”  However, he usually refers to himself as “Johnny Clarke, the name behind the hairstyle.”   

These days, John Cooper Clarke’s poetry is part of the curriculum taught in British schools, and we can honestly and accurately call him a “poet.”   But many of us said that already 40 years ago.    _{(Image source)}

Like a night club in the morning, you're the bitter end
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you're clean round the bend
You give me the horrors
Too bad to be true
All of my tomorrows
Are lousy 'cuz of you
You put the shat in shatter
Put the pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You're certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag
Do us all a favour, here ... wear this polythene bag

You're like a dose of scabies
I've got you under my skin
You make life a fairy tale ... Grimm.

People mention murder, the moment you arrive
I'd consider killing you if I thought you were alive
You've got this slippery quality
It makes me think of phlegm
And a dual personality
I hate both of them
Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away

Like a death at a birthday party
You ruin all the fun
Like a sucked and spat out smartie
You're no use to anyone
Like the shadow of the guillotine
On a dead consumptive's face
Speaking as an outsider
What do you think of the human race?

You went to a progressive psychiatrist
He recommended suicide …
Before scratching your bad name off his list
And pointing the way outside

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart
You're heading for a breakdown, better pull yourself apart
Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss
Your attitudes are platitudes, just make me wanna piss

What kind of creature bore you?
Was it some kind of bat?
They can't find a good word for you
But I can ... TWAT!    _{(Image source)}
Lyrics by John Cooper Clarke, courtesy of – Genius.com
Reference – Wikipedia
Reference – Wikipedia
Reference – Wikipedia

Into your ears … through 5 channels

 The various posts are categorized into 5 channels _{(Right-Click to see details)}
         1 – “Music to Your Ears” (MTYE)
         2 – “Cover Versions”
         3 – “Honor Roll”
         4 – “Documentaries”
         5 – “Mock’n’Roll”

Links to my other series ...

          Lou Reed – "Anthology of Memorable Lyrics, Part 1"
          Lou Reed – "Anthology of Memorable Lyrics, Part 2"

          Great Lyrics, a compilation – “Part One – My Lyrics Posts 3~30”
          Great Lyrics, a compilation – “Part Two – My Lyrics Posts 31~60”  

          Vocab-Ability – "Introduction to Vocab-Ability"  
          Vocab-Ability – "Index"  to all Chapters and Sections  

          Notes from Under the Tatami Mats – "Part One – Notes 1~50"  
          Notes from Under the Tatami Mats – "Part Two – Notes 51~87"