Scanning for CATs in my head

I was at the radiology clinic a couple days ago getting a CAT scan on my head.

Contrary to my title they were not actually scanning for cats, there's no cats in my head, (some say there's nothing in there at all), because I reckon I'd know if a cat got in there. Nope, they were scanning for something different, a health thing obviously, and I'm quite keen to get the results from my doctor when I visit in a couple weeks' time. I don't know what it's all going to mean just yet but the scan is supposed to show something, or nothing, and based on that I'll have something to worry about, or nothing I guess.

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While they were scanning for CATs in my head me with the CAT scan thinking, (sometimes called a CT scan), I was thinking about life and how easily we allow it to slip by and how much we actually waste in valueless pursuits. I was also thinking that it's only through the passage of time that we come to understand the things we thought were so important and valuable were, in fact, not. Some don't ever realise that I guess. One thing is comment to all of us though, we will all die sooner or later...you, me and everyone we know.

I've done a lot of things in life and some of those things were so fucken stupid and valueless in the grand scheme of things, and part of me wishes I knew what I know now back then. That's impossible though, and so I look at it this way...

I did what I did based on what I knew at the time - that helps me move on without regret.

Anyway, also while getting scanned to determine if there's anything at all in my head I thought about a decision I made not too long ago; the decision to stop working altogether. It's not happened yet but I have an exact date, I have set a date, and from that date onwards I'll no longer waste my time working at a job, *or at anything at all that isn't geared towards making me happy in life, engaged and which provides me and my girl a meaningful life.

This is not to say I've not had a meaningful life to date, I know I have and look back on my life with great contentment and satisfaction; but it certainly means I'll enjoy what time I have left so I have less chance of any regret down the track when I fucken die.

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So many people talk about their job bringing them meaning and a sense of being valued, validated or relevant, a social experience and other such things; my professional life has done that for me also, but I've swapped my life, my very existence, for it and I think there's more to life than that.

I actually know there's more to life than going to work every day and grinding it out for a few paper tokens called "money" that we swap for things we think we need and delude ourselves that, that's life. I do not believe it is.

For me, the decision to set that date has provided a stronger focus on life after work and has also made me feel more engaged, happy and energised in the present as I have that date, and what comes after, to look forward to. I aim to look back on my entire life, no matter how long or short it might be, without the feeling of regret although that's probably impossible for any of us - minimising it though, now that's achievable.

But I wonder about you.

Do you look back on life with any regrets and if so how do you deal with them? What's your plan for when you get older...work until you die or live a fucken legit life based on the foundations you've laid previously? In either case, why? Or...maybe you have cats in your head...if you do please let me know what that's like.

Feel free to share some thoughts if you'd like. Or don't.