Gimme some of that cheap ass.

I grinned at my laptop.

What the hell are you doing?

Squawked the Good Lady in alarm as she saw me cackling and reaching below the table.

Relax baby, I am on the hunt. The bargain hunt!

The Good Lady visibly relaxed out of her defensive clutching skirt pose as she saw I wasn't reaching for my Manaconda but instead was simply scratching my knee.

Which, incidentally is not something you want to be doing when having a sitdown with a Colombian drug lord about the plane load of missing gear.

Need me a new crypto wallet, my old Trezor is... well, it's old.

I looked over in disgust at my Trezor wallet which held all my millions of Bitcoin.

Is it broken?

She asked like one of those simple folk you see hanging about town who have been banged on the head with a phone book one too many times.
_{^{A phone book you cry? No one knows what a phone book is anymore!! Listen up buttercups, this is Hive, the demographic here knows exactly what a phone book is :OD}}

Broken, pfft. Of course it isn't broken. There is nothing wrong with it. Anyway, if it is broken I have a spare.

I chortled like a fat man eating doughnuts who had just discovered that the shop had slipped an extra one in the box.

If you have a spare then why are you wanting to buy a new one?

The Good Lady looked at me quizzically, her head tilted to the side like a baby deer suckling at her mam's teat.

I smiled. The last baby deer I had seen that looked that cute had been cooked medium rare and served up with a nice side of potatoes.

Why am I wanting a new one? That's an odd question.

I snickered slightly. How was I to explain the advantages of consumerism to a sensible person. I mean, these people... How would we have progressed as a species if we weren't always chasing the next shiny shiny?

It's not an odd question. It's a real question. I mean how much is it going to cost us to get you your new gadget that does exactly the same thing as your old one that isn't broken and doesn't need replaced?

She had that face on, the one that spells trouble downstairs and naughty high jinks upstairs. Given that we were on the lowest level of the house I could be in a bit of bother.

Oh, it won't cost us anything. I am paying in Crpyto, you know, magic internet money!

I beamed my biggest isn't crypto hilarious smile at her and laughed.

Oh! Crypto, ha. Why didn't you say! Go on then, fill your boots!

She joined in with my laughter at magic internet money.

Except, perhaps I laughed a little harder as it was not entirely a like for like purchase but instead I was getting the Solid Gold Limited edition Trezor Safe 5 Independence Edition of which there were only ever going to be 2100 created.

See, Solid gold! _{^{well, sort of... nearly?}}

Gimme some of that touchscreen action baby! _{^{note, that might not be my real number :0)}}

Ahhh, sometimes life is alright.